In the third novel, The Unbound Goddess (which I am writing now) the story circles around the concept of the Sacred Feminine, as embodied by Lilith. Though religious scholars differ greatly about how divinity differs between men and women, still I was fascinated to read this passage from the Kabbalah (which is my primary source for understanding the mysteries explored in the novel):
“There are two aspects to the female of Z'er Anpin, one when she is contained initially in the male, and the second when she is separated from him and he gives her the crown of strength... When she separates from him and becomes an autonomous aspect, then the two of them are in the secret of a husband and his wife, the male alone and the female alone."
Remember that the story of Lilith has her wanting to share passion equally with her husband, which doesn't sit well with (the to my mind, pig-headed) Adam, who rejects her. She then "speaks the secret name of God and flies from Eden on her own."
In the italicized passage above, which is not talking specifically about Adam and Lilith, the man is described as "giving her the crown of strength", each becoming separate and strong, and then becoming a true husband and wife as a male alone and a female alone. In other words, both actualized as individuals before truly bonding.
I'd say Lilith had it right from the start.
Fascinating indeed, to find in a text from the 14th century.
These are the kind of wonders that come like treasure to a writer, finding a home in something as commercial as a novel in the Siobhan Bishop Erotic Underworld series. Is it any wonder that I love to write?
14 comments:
So, are you saying they both need to be strong first, before they can become one?
I have still to read your second book R. But my passion for the concepts of which you write and speak is unending. I still wish to pull together a Lilith based collection - there is so much more for me to explore.
I agree with the individuals being individuals before committing to a union. It is essentially knowing and loving yourself before you can truly know and love another is it not?
xx Sam xx
Hi Lisa!
Yes, I believe that's true, and it's what I see in the above passage from the 14th Century Zohar Kabbalah as well. Each partner, if they wear their own "crown of strength", can come into loving their mate in a spiritual and emotional place of personal awareness and self-appreciation. Meaning you know yourself, and like yourself...and want to share that glorious self in a union with a partner who recognizes those things in you.
In that type of relationship (which, sadly, seems pretty rare), the usual factors which wreck relationships (attempts at domination, manipulation, the breaking down of a partner's spirit instead of celebrating it), just wouldn't make any sense.
Strength is not the ability to dominate your partner -- to make him or her do what you want when you want it -- it's the opposite. To stand with your partner in lifting one another up toward individual dreams (even if they aren't your own specific dreams), and to be open and supportive in helping one another to heal from hurts (and truly listening to your partner is a sign of amazing strength). Doing those things also opens the door to shared dreams...because fulfilled people that I've met want to share their fulfillments.
In the book I'm writing now, I explore all of this in the context of sexual relationships and spiritual ones (spiritual not necessarily meaning religious)...a theme I never weary of. But all of us who reach out in the desire to love and be loved, are strong in our way. And to me, there's no more important effort than to illuminate and celebrate that desire.
Hey Sammie,
I always feel a thrill when you turn your creativity toward concepts of the Sacred Feminine (you and I both have a thing for Lilith, and it's exciting to read your poetry about her -- in many ways I see her reflected in you: powerful, insightful, fiercely passionate, and also desiring to share those things). The sad aspect of that being that most people in relationships are more threatened and afraid of aspects of Lilith than they are delighted to embrace them.
But yes, I think the Kaballah passage, with its riddle-like conclusion that the secret heart of marriage is a man alone and a woman alone, is not saying they need to be strong and apart from one another, but come to know themselves first, and then be able to share that knowledge and strength unthreatened. They can then be together in a union that really does constitute a true marriage of souls.
We hear that message in a kind of generic greeting-card manner all around us in society..."you have to know and love yourself before you can know and love another"...and I don't think anything could be more true. But what the greeting-card (or simple mantra)message fails to tell us is HOW to do that.
Not an easy task, which is why my creative life is filled with poems and novels trying to unravel that divine puzzle.
I've always said, "You have to love yourself before you can love someone else. Be happy and secure in who you are." Glad someone in the 14th century shared my views. lol. But, it is rare to find someone who's secure enough not to feel threatened by your accomplishments. Even more so for that person to lift you up when you're down and stand beside you no matter what.
Yes, what an intricate balance a true partnership can be, Lisa. You're right, often one partner is threatened by the accomplishments of another, and negativity that builds from that bleeds into moments when you might be down, leading to hurtful behavior in both situations. How sad, when the positive alternative is so much more fulfilling! As you say, being happy and secure in who you are makes it a joy, not a threat, to share in your partner's accomplishments, and the good feelings of love and support born out of that can come pouring back to you in the form of sincere caring when you are down or hurting. Couples like that have crafted a kind of paradise far more real, and lasting, than any Eden.
Hey R.
Sorry I'm so late but I got sidetracked watching football.
Lilith was obviously too strong for Adam's wimpy spine, he probably pined after his loss for all of his days.
I so agree that a loving relationship is based on the love of the person and perhaps not all of the things they do. If you have love for yourself you can achieve this level of adoration.
Living life with another as one unit makes the whole being of the relationship just come alive.
Lilith was smart to hit the road when she realized he had no respect for her.
I have loved reading both of your books about Siobhan and honestly when I tell someone about them it sticks in my throat trying to put them in a genre--you are truly a Magus of Words.
Star to Star
Kristaline
Hey there Kristaline,
The fact that no genre really applies to the Siobhan books it something I'm really very proud of. They are meant to be about people, and the magic that people can make together. That's all the genre I could ever want.
I agree, Lilith was smart to hit the road. But those of us who find partners wiser than Adam are equally smart to reach for those things you so beautifully express: a level of adoration based on the love of a person...living life as a whole unit...coming alive in a place of respect.
star to star,
R
You should be proud, you are so awesome to read, I can feel your warmth in your words like a hug from an old friend.
Star to Star
Kristaline
Sorry I didn't get back yesterday - I have no excuse other than I got sidetracked watching Machine Head videos on youtube ha ha -
It is all such a nice idea - loving yourself and then entering into a union with another such strong individual and walking together soulfully. However, I am cynical these days (and a little bitter and twisted) I attract the weak (not that I judge in such a negative way - they scream "need" and "help" and then they don't want it because it involves facing themselves and working hard) anyway, yes, I tend to attract fuck ups and in turn, I bleed.
I've got to a stage where I want to spread my wings wide (Defyance style - black shiny feathers shimmering and shaking in my wake) and walk out of the gates to the garden of relationships.
If I had said this at 18 years old, I would have called it petulant. But honestly, I'm just tired. The basis for all of this is fear, of course. Being a strong woman can bring its own demons and we are often afraid. Lilith scorned - hmmmm I often ponder that subject. I think she was tired and disappointed.
Anyway, I must endeavour to read your 2nd book - I now have a Kindle, so I am reading constantly - I shall add yours to the list, as well as your other poetry books. I need to still my mind and work methodically through my reading list, instead of reading 6 things at any one time haha
Much love R
always
xx Sam xx
R. Paul - I love this fact/quote from the Kabbalah and I love that you're bringing such depth to the Siobhan Bishop series.
Sammie - I read book #2 - The Blood Jaguar - and you won't be disappointed.
At the same time, I'm looking forward to Book #3 - The Unbound Goddess - and exploring this Lillith and Kabbalah lore with you, R. Paul.
Kudos on all your books and I believe you have another book coming out with PIP (not part of the series) entitled Torera, is that not correct?
Kristaline, this IS a hug from an old friend.
Hey Sammie,
Machine Head sounds way cool.
It really is understandable, that after going through relationships where would-be partners were attracted to your strength,and then responded to that strength by bleeding out all over you, to be tired. I've seen so many times the way you respond with caring to friends, I can only imagine how much you have given in your deepest relationships. But you deserve to receive strength in return, that's for sure.
I love the vision of your black shiny feathers shimmering in your wake, as you soar away from those who (Adam-like) don't know how to embrace Lilith (or Defyance) as an equal. Maybe Lilith was indeed just tired, and had better things to do with her fierce and powerful spirit.
Here's hoping she finds her dark and brilliant peer, which is what she truly deserves.
love right back,
R
Ivy, thank you. I had no idea really, when I started writing the Siobhan books, just how much depth of history, emotion, mind and soul I would uncover along the way.
I really do look forward to sharing the lore of Lilith and the Kabbalah in the third book, as much as I enjoyed illuminating nature, hermetic and tantric mysticism in book one, and the vivid and beautiful Aztec beliefs in book two.
And yes, in the meantime I have written a non-series book about another strong woman (a lady matador) with co-writer Tisha Garcia, which will be appearing soon. Stay tuned...
Post a Comment